Oprah Winfrey Plans Exit From USA Following Elon Musk Complete Confirm Buyout ‘The View’: ‘He can’t Catch Me’

In a twist of events that reads like the most absurd crossover episode of Black Mirror and The Kardashians, Oprah Winfrey has announced her plans to leave the United States. The reason? Billionaire and Twitter’s perennial main character, Elon Musk, has reportedly “completely” purchased The View, sending shockwaves across the celebrity and daytime television ecosystems.

“Look, I’ve dealt with a lot of chaos in my career,” Oprah explained during an impromptu interview while packing her Louis Vuitton suitcases. “But Elon Musk owning The View? That’s my limit. I mean, first Twitter, now this? He can’t catch me—I’m out of here.”

Reports suggest that Oprah has been scouting potential homes in a variety of scenic, Musk-free locales, including Switzerland, New Zealand, and a remote island where the only form of technology is dial-up internet.

Meanwhile, Elon Musk, seemingly reveling in the chaos, tweeted, “Finally, a talk show for free speech,” accompanied by a rocket emoji and a gif of Whoopi Goldberg rolling her eyes.

Fans of The View are understandably confused and concerned. Will the table debates now involve discussions on Mars colonization and flamethrower etiquette? Will Dogecoin replace traditional commercial breaks? One audience member remarked, “I came here for the drama, not a lecture on neural networks.”

It’s unclear what Oprah’s next move will be. Rumors are swirling that she’s planning to start her own rival daytime show, tentatively titled Oprah’s Universe, where billionaires are banned, and the giveaways include therapy vouchers and a guarantee Musk-free existence.

As for Musk, insiders hint that he plans to use The View to promote his newest venture: self-driving coffee mugs. If nothing else, America can at least count on one thing—chaos will always be served hot, just like morning coffee.

Stay tuned, folks. If you thought 2024 was wild, 2025 clearly said, “Hold my rocket fuel.”