Lions Make Outrageous Offer to Landon Jackson After His Mind-Blowing NFL Combine Performance
Detroit, MI – The NFL world was left in shock today as the Detroit Lions reportedly offered an unprecedented contract to defensive lineman Landon Jackson after his jaw-dropping performance on Day 1 of the NFL Scouting Combine. Sources close to the situation claim the deal includes a lifetime supply of Motor City hot dogs, ownership of a Ford Mustang factory, and a guarantee that he will never have to hear the phrase ‘Same Old Lions’ again.
Jackson, who reportedly ran faster than a speeding muscle car, benched 1,000 pounds while reciting the entire Lions playbook, and intercepted a pass before the quarterback even stepped onto the field, has instantly become the most sought-after player in the draft. Scouts on the scene were left speechless, with one insider stating, “I don’t know if he’s human or if the Lions just found the second coming of Megatron – but on defense.”
Desperate to secure his services, Detroit’s front office wasted no time in crafting an offer that can only be described as borderline illegal in 49 states. Insiders report the contract includes a $750 million signing bonus, the title of Honorary Mayor of Detroit, and an ironclad clause stating he never has to visit Green Bay in December.
NFL analysts are already dubbing this the most ridiculous yet brilliant move in Lions history, rivaling their decision to keep playing on Thanksgiving despite the results. Meanwhile, Lions fans have taken to social media, with one tweeting, “Give him the key to the city. Hell, let him run the team.”
As of press time, Jackson was seen being escorted into Ford Field, where sources confirm he was handed a custom gold-plated helmet and personally anointed ‘The Savior of Detroit Football’ by Barry Sanders himself. Whether he actually signs with the Lions or the deal remains a fever dream is yet to be determined, but one thing is for certain—Landon Jackson’s legend has already begun.
