🛑 HUGE NEWS: Bills Head Coach Requests ESPN to Banning Colin Kaepernick from Future Commentary after Controversial Taking the Knee

In a groundbreaking moment that will surely echo through the annals of sports pettiness, Buffalo Bills Head Coach Sean McDermott has reportedly asked ESPN to ban Colin Kaepernick from any future commentary gigs. Why, you ask? Because, apparently, one symbolic gesture from 2016 still has the power to shake the foundation of McDermott’s very existence.

According to sources close to the situation (a.k.a. people who read the same tweets as everyone else), McDermott expressed his dismay after Kaepernick made a brief guest appearance during an ESPN segment. The former quarterback allegedly referred to “taking the knee” as a moment of courage and principle—an idea that seems to have sent the Bills coach into a tailspin of indignation.

“It’s not about politics,” McDermott clarified in a statement that, of course, had everything to do with politics. “It’s about maintaining focus on the game and ensuring that the spotlight stays where it belongs: on me and my team.” The coach then proceeded to passionately discuss the dangers of “polarizing figures” in sports media—while presumably ignoring the irony of having just made himself a headline.

Meanwhile, fans are split on the issue. Some applauded McDermott for standing up to… well, something. “Finally, someone’s addressing the real issue here,” commented one Twitter user, whose profile picture suspiciously featured an American flag and an eagle. Others were less kind, accusing the coach of being a bit too fragile for someone who oversees a roster of players regularly getting tackled by 300-pound opponents.

Kaepernick, for his part, has remained largely unbothered. In a brief response to the controversy, he tweeted, “This you?” with a screenshot of McDermott kneeling with his team during a 2020 demonstration for racial equality. The internet, as it so often does, took care of the rest, ensuring that McDermott’s hypocrisy would trend for hours longer than his team’s last playoff victory.

As for ESPN, the network appears to have no plans to comply with McDermott’s unusual request. An unnamed executive reportedly chuckled when asked for a comment, replying, “We’re just here for the ratings.” And judging by the social media buzz, they’re certainly getting them.

In the grand scheme of NFL drama, this episode will likely fade away by next week—perhaps replaced by another coach accidentally creating a meme or a quarterback who inexplicably believes the Earth is flat. But for now, McDermott’s crusade against a man who hasn’t thrown an NFL pass since 2016 will remain a shining example of how not to handle a minor inconvenience in the age of the internet.