Elon Musk Plans Insane Budget to Buy Facebook After January 20th If Mark’s Hearing Fails

In what can only be described as the tech world’s equivalent of a soap opera, Elon Musk has reportedly prepared a “comically absurd” budget to acquire Facebook—on the condition that Mark Zuckerberg’s latest congressional hearing goes south.

Sources close to Musk have hinted that the billionaire is “bored enough” and “annoyed by Facebook’s lack of memes” to take action. According to insiders, the budget Musk has set aside for this potential purchase is so astronomical it “makes Twitter’s acquisition look like pocket change.”

When asked why he wants Facebook, Musk reportedly quipped, “I need something to keep me busy between launching rockets and triggering Twitter users. Plus, I might rename it to SpaceBook.”

Mark Zuckerberg, meanwhile, is busy prepping for his January 20th hearing, which skeptics believe could become another “meta disaster” for the CEO. Critics have already begun speculating about what Musk would do if he actually gets his hands on Facebook, with suggestions ranging from converting it into a Tesla reservation platform to turning the newsfeed into a 24/7 live stream of Mars rover footage.

In typical Musk fashion, the Tesla and SpaceX CEO took to Twitter (ironically, his own platform) to address the rumors. “Buying Facebook? Maybe. Asking it to delete itself? Definitely.”

Experts are divided on whether Musk is serious or just trolling Zuckerberg and the entire internet. Either way, it’s clear that if January 20th doesn’t go well for Mark, his beloved social network could soon have a new owner—or worse, a new name. Stay tuned, because the tech drama only seems to be heating up!