Breaking News: Elon Musk Promises To Give Jack Eichel A $1.1 Million Rolex Daytona If He Beats New York Rangers In Next Game!

In yet another chapter of the Elon Musk “What Will He Do Next?” chronicles, the Tesla and SpaceX CEO has decided to dabble in the NHL, promising Buffalo Sabres star Jack Eichel a $1.1 million Rolex Daytona. The catch? Eichel has to beat the New York Rangers singlehandedly—well, perhaps with the assistance of his teammates if they’re feeling generous.

Musk, fresh off announcing plans to colonize Mars (again) and invent an AI that reads your mind (no thanks), took to Twitter—where else?—to make his lavish promise. “If Jack Eichel can pull off a win against the Rangers, I’ll personally gift him a one-of-a-kind $1.1 million Rolex Daytona. Hockey needs more… pizzazz.” Yes, because hockey fans have been begging for billionaires to swoop in and make the sport their personal playground.

The announcement has predictably sent hockey Twitter into a frenzy. Some fans are calling it the “greatest motivator in NHL history,” while others are scratching their heads, wondering if Musk even knows what offside means. (Spoiler: he doesn’t.) Rangers fans, meanwhile, are furiously Googling how to “hex a billionaire.”

Jack Eichel himself was visibly amused during a press conference. “I mean, who wouldn’t want a million-dollar watch? But let’s focus on the game first,” he chuckled. Translation: he’s already imagining his post-game Instagram post, captioned, “Thanks, Elon.”

The Rolex in question, a rare gem with custom engravings and a diamond-studded bezel, is reportedly inspired by Musk’s own peculiar aesthetics. One source close to Musk claimed the watch includes tiny gears shaped like Tesla logos and a dial that tracks SpaceX launches. The source also hinted it might come with a Dogecoin QR code on the back—because of course it does.

Meanwhile, critics are having a field day. “This is peak Musk,” one commentator wrote. “Instead of addressing the fact that he over-promises on rocket deadlines, he’s now meddling in hockey with a watch that probably won’t even tell the correct time.” Another quipped, “At this rate, he’ll be offering Rolexes to figure skaters if they land a triple axel.”

The NHL, always eager for publicity, has embraced the chaos. Commissioner Gary Bettman issued a statement saying, “This is a wonderful opportunity to bring attention to the game. We welcome Elon’s passion for hockey and hope this inspires more innovation in the sport.” Translation: the league is thrilled someone other than Wayne Gretzky is trending for once.

As the game approaches, the pressure is mounting. Can Jack Eichel rise to the occasion, defeat the Rangers, and claim the watch of a lifetime? Or will the Rangers crush his Rolex dreams, leaving Musk’s Twitter stunt as yet another odd footnote in his long list of bizarre escapades?

One thing’s for sure: if Eichel does win, expect Musk to one-up himself. Rumors are already swirling that his next stunt might involve offering a Cybertruck to the next goalie who scores a hat trick. Stay tuned, folks. The Elon Musk circus is just getting started.