Breaking: Mark Wahlberg Exits $165M Movie with Tom Hanks, Slams Him as ‘Woke Creep’!

In what can only be described as the plot twist no one asked for, Mark Wahlberg has dramatically exited a $165 million film project alongside Tom Hanks, leaving Hollywood gossip mills working overtime. The reason? According to Wahlberg, he just couldn’t bear to share the screen with “a woke creep.”

The movie, which was shaping up to be a star-studded blockbuster, now seems to be the Titanic—post-iceberg. Wahlberg reportedly walked out mid-script read, muttering something about “not being able to work with someone who thinks cancel culture is an art form.” Sources claim the actor didn’t even finish his complimentary bottled water before storming out.

As expected, the internet has erupted into a frenzy of reactions. Some fans are supporting Wahlberg’s bold stand, praising him as a “real one” for taking on what they see as Hollywood’s virtue-signaling elites. Others, however, are calling the move a temper tantrum of epic proportions.

Meanwhile, Tom Hanks has remained characteristically calm, issuing a statement as measured as one of his Oscar-worthy performances. “I wish Mark the best in his future endeavors,” Hanks said, adding, “I’ll keep working on trying not to offend him by merely existing.”

The production team, now faced with the unenviable task of replacing Wahlberg, is reportedly in talks with other big names—though sources say no one’s too eager to jump into this circus. Rumor has it, the film’s tagline might need a last-minute rewrite: “Coming soon…or not.”

For now, fans will have to wait to see if this multi-million-dollar project can recover from its very public meltdown—or if it’ll become just another cautionary tale of egos and “wokeness” in Tinseltown.