🛑 Bills Head Coach Sean McDermott Offers Update: Amari Cooper Downgraded to Out. Worrisome News for Him…

Wide receiver Amari Cooper will not be one of the Bills starters on the field against the Patriots on Sunday.

Cooper has been downgraded to out for the final game of the regular season. He will not travel with the team and personal reasons are cited as the reason for his absence.

The Bills plan to start quarterback Josh Allen and play other starters briefly before sending them to the bench in order to rest ahead of the playoffs.

In addition to downgrading Cooper, the Bills also announced that offensive lineman Will Clapp and defensive end Casey Toohill have been elevated from the practice squad. Both players will revert back after the game against New England is over.

For the rest of us? Well, let’s just say there was no parade planned for Cooper’s absence.

“He’s a great player, no doubt,” McDermott said in a tone that was just polite enough to pass for sincerity. “We always prepare for the best version of every team we face.” Translation: We’re going to torch the Browns, and Cooper could’ve brought an entire marching band onto the field—it wouldn’t have mattered.

The timing of this “tragic” announcement has sparked concern, though. Not for the Bills, mind you, but for the Browns’ already grim chances of survival. Cooper’s absence only piles onto the mountain of mediocrity Cleveland continues to climb every season. But hey, we’re all rooting for them to someday figure out what a “playoff run” looks like—aren’t we?

Meanwhile, Bills fans, players, and local pigeons have been spotted shrugging in unison. The team’s defense, which has been carving opponents like Thanksgiving turkeys, isn’t exactly shaking in its boots over the prospect of facing a slightly-less-dangerous Browns offense.

In the grand scheme of things, Cooper’s downgrade seems like one more gift wrapped by the football gods for the Bills’ dominant season. But hey, good luck, Cleveland—you’re going to need it.

Oh, and Amari? Get well soon. But, you know, no rush.