Elon Musk Vows to Destroy Taylor Swift’s Career and Those Who Oppose Him: ‘I WILL KICK EVERYONE DOWN’

In what might be the most Musk-ian move yet, Elon Musk has taken a break from launching rockets, renaming social media platforms, and dreaming up robot overlords to declare war on… Taylor Swift? Yes, you read that right. The self-proclaimed Techno-King has apparently set his sights on the pop queen, vowing to “kick everyone down” who dares to stand in his way.

During what can only be described as an off-the-rails rant (or perhaps just another Tuesday for Musk), the billionaire made it clear that world domination isn’t enough—he’s now aiming for pop culture supremacy. “Taylor Swift’s career? I’ll obliterate it,” Musk allegedly proclaimed, adding, “No one challenges me and walks away unscathed. Not even the ‘Shake It Off’ lady.”

While the specifics of Swift’s alleged offense remain unclear, fans speculate that Musk might be jealous of her ability to sell out stadiums faster than Tesla sells Cybertrucks. Or perhaps he’s just miffed that Swift’s lyrics trend more on social media than his cryptic AI-related musings.

Swifties, however, are not taking this lying down. Twitter (sorry, X—does anyone actually call it that?) is ablaze with memes, clapbacks, and predictions that Musk’s latest feud will inevitably end with a diss track. One viral post read: “Taylor’s about to write a song so good, it’ll make Dogecoin plummet.”

Meanwhile, Musk’s fanbase—an eclectic mix of crypto bros, space nerds, and people who think flamethrowers are practical purchases—has rallied behind him, claiming this is just another example of the billionaire’s “next-level genius.”

As the drama unfolds, the internet can’t decide whether this is the start of a dystopian battle for cultural relevance or just another absurd subplot in the ongoing saga of Elon Musk. One thing’s for sure: if this beef escalates, it’ll be the wildest crossover event of the year.

Your move, Taylor.