BREAKING NEWS: James Cook ties O.J. Simpson for Buffalo Bills touchdown record
In what might be the most peculiar historical parallel of the NFL season, James Cook has officially tied O.J. Simpson for the Buffalo Bills’ touchdown record. Yes, you read that right – the man once known for darting through defenders (and, later, for a white Bronco) has now been matched by the young running back who is still working on making his first court appearance… for winning a playoff game, that is.
Cook, whose contributions to the Bills have been steady but far from sensational, managed to hit the milestone during Sunday’s game against [Insert Unfortunate Opponent Here]. Fans cheered, though whether they were celebrating Cook’s achievement or simply marveling at the statistical oddity is anyone’s guess.
“It’s an honor to share a record with a player like O.J.,” Cook said in a post-game interview, managing to keep a straight face. “He’s a legend of the game.” Cook, ever the diplomat, tactfully avoided elaborating on which part of Simpson’s legacy he most admired.
Social media, of course, had a field day. “So James Cook is now tied with a guy who ran for 2,000 yards and later ran from the LAPD. Great company!” tweeted one user. Another quipped, “Can we just pretend O.J.’s record started at zero after 1994? Asking for a friend.”
For the Bills, the timing couldn’t be better (or worse). With the team chasing playoff relevance, any bit of good press is welcome – even if it comes with a side of historical baggage. Meanwhile, the team’s PR department is probably hard at work brainstorming creative ways to celebrate Cook’s milestone without inviting any awkward comparisons. A commemorative glove giveaway? Maybe not.
As for Cook, he’s focusing on the future. “This is just the beginning,” he said. And while no one’s expecting him to rush for 2,000 yards in a season, at least we can safely assume he’ll keep his milestones confined to the gridiron.
For now, Bills fans can celebrate the fact that their current running back is making headlines for touchdowns – not trials. Small victories, folks, small victories.
