🛑 BREAKING: Josh Allen and James Cook Offer Heartfelt Apology After Falling Short of Super Bowl. Drop their salary…

Buffalo, NY – In a shocking turn of events that absolutely no one saw coming (except, well, everyone), Josh Allen and James Cook have issued a deeply heartfelt apology after their Buffalo Bills once again crumbled under pressure, failing to reach the Super Bowl.

Facing the reality of yet another playoff collapse, Allen and Cook stood before reporters, eyes filled with the kind of regret only Bills fans know too well. “We just want to say sorry… again,” Allen muttered, shaking his head. “We really thought this was our year. Just like last year… and the year before… and the year before that.”

James Cook, clutching a football as if it were the only thing left to hold onto, nodded solemnly. “We worked hard, gave it our all, and still… yeah, here we are. Again.”

Fans, of course, reacted in typical Bills fashion—some drowned their sorrows in hot wings, others dramatically threatened to switch teams (but obviously won’t), and a brave few even risked hypothermia by diving through flaming tables in protest.

Meanwhile, the Kansas City Chiefs, led by Patrick Mahomes, continue their annual tradition of casually brushing the Bills aside on their way to yet another Super Bowl appearance. When asked for a comment, Mahomes simply shrugged. “They tried, I guess?”

With another season down the drain, Buffalo now enters its yearly mourning period, featuring endless debates about whether Allen is actually elite and whether next year will finally be the year.

Spoiler alert: It won’t be.